Dying to Live

I recently went through a period of frustration wondering why life had not gone as I thought it would. I had this gift and seemingly clear vision for God’s heart in building His kingdom’ yet I had little or nothing to show for it. I was oblivious to the frustration mounting but habitually pushed through like everything else. The harder I pushed the more pain it seemed to bring.

I had a wonderful conversation with a church leader and he shared the only way for our gift(s) to come alive is by taking the knife and killing it so God can resurrect it; A reminiscent reference to Gen 22:1-2 After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, "Abraham!" And he said, "Here am I." He said, "Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you." I think God tests us to see what’s more precious to us; our dreams, our talents, our possessions, or God himself. After speaking with Rick I hung up, got down on my knees and wept. I knew the only thing left was raise the knife and plunge it into my dream. God wasn’t going to do it for me. I had to do it myself. So I did. I killed it and let it go into His hands. There was a period of mourning that took place, as if the only thing I ever wanted was gone forever, yet something great happened. I felt a peace. I also felt for the first time a transfer of my gift truly, %100 in God’s hands. It was resurrected!

It’s so easy to function in our gifts and not notice that we see ourselves in light of our gift not in light of who God is and the work He’s done on our behalf through Jesus Christ. I would encourage you, if you’re frustrated because you can’t seem to make headway or gain ground, then chances are you’re trying to use your gift your way and hasn’t been transferred to God’s hands. Let him strip you down to just being a child of God, not a child of God and…, and He’ll clothe you with His righteousness. Oh the gift will still be there. The difference is He’ll be using it through you more than you can imagine.